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<title>The Narration of a Lifetime by FirstmasterMavis123 (Deathbequick)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25010668">The Narration of a Lifetime</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathbequick/pseuds/FirstmasterMavis123'>FirstmasterMavis123 (Deathbequick)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Wedding Night, just what would happen if peter was introduced to a professional wedding crasher, narration, pair pf idiots, wedding crashing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:40:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25010668</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathbequick/pseuds/FirstmasterMavis123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter Parker:       Nephew of Aunt May.         Male.         More Die than Ride.      Intern of Stark.       Spiderman.   Alive, Maybe.</p><p>Artemis Potts:      Niece of Aunt Ginny.      Female.       More Ride than Die.      Intern of Potts.      A disaster.     Alive, Maybe.</p><p>A wedding crash and a few near-apocalypses later, Peter and Artemis are narrating each and every disastrous point in their conjoined life. After her swearing him her firstborn child and him swearing her his, this Ride or Die look back to the times where it was a lot closer to Die than Ride, in a mess of sloppy narration and lots of flashbacks.</p><p> Pietro lives, Wanda's a hot mess, Natasha's scared of spiders, Peter's a good thief, Steve is scared of Tony, Tony's scared of Poptarts and Thor somehow got on the ceiling again. How did Pepper and her niece get tangled up in this mess?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>May Parker (Spider-Man) &amp; Peter Parker &amp; Original Character(s)</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Narration of a Lifetime</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Welcome! Enjoy this! Bold is Artemis and italic is Peter!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her fingers tapped together as the wedding reception played out. It was boring and stupidly long. Why was it so long? Were weddings usually this long? Usually on TV there were a few lines like 'in sickness and in health' and 'till death do us part', then they kissed, then they could party. Well, before the partying, Artemis had a thing or two planned... </p><p>
  <strong>A:Are you downplaying my abilities?</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>P:No, of course not, I'm giving you a Femme Fatale kind of vibe.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>A:...Carry on...</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>P:That's what I thought.</em>
</p><p>Just as the minister began to speak the legendary words of 'You may kiss the bride,' her slender fingers slid under the pew and pulled out the lump of cake hidden in a napkin. Artemis was quick, her hand moving faster than her pew-mates could see. She held back a sightly crazed cackle. She'd been given a cupcake from the caterer's niece, who after one look had decided he was going to be her partner in crime. He handed it over, in the promise that the victory would be theirs. To seal the deal, she swore him her firstborn child. He nodded with utmost sincerity. Then he swore to give her his firstborn. Why? Who knows, eight year old kids are weird.</p><p>
  <strong>A:God, I did, didn't I? </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>P:Luckily for you, you aren't pregnant yet!</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>A:How did you make that sound so horrifyingly creepy!? The yet was terrifying!</strong>
</p><p class="">A bond that would last a thousand years held nothing to the truce that had just formed between this soon to be danger duo, one another's ride or dies, amici per sempre! (<em><strong>Friends for life</strong></em>) Nothing could break these two apart. They would be stronger than Flex Tape and Flex Glue combined. Everybody know's how strong Flex Tape is!</p><p class="">
  <em>P:Enough of that now, let me do my dramatic narrating!</em>
</p><p class="">
  <strong>A;Hey, I thought we were ride or dies! I wanna do it!</strong>
</p><p class="">
  <em>P:Fine then, you do it!</em>
</p><p>She unfolded the napkin and stuffed it in her bra, reeling her fist back. Not high enough to be noticeable, but high enough that her arm would have the right strength to pelt it into their unsuspecting faces. Artemis barely concealed her next cackle. The old woman net to her gave a sour, puckered frown towards the much younger girl. Artemis ignored her. </p><p>Just as the ginger woman swooped the blonde man into kiss her, the cake flew. There was a silence as all eyes in the room moved to follow the chunk of squashed cupcake as it spun and bits of turquoise icing flicked off to splatter on the solid wood. The cake broke apart, hitting the minister and the kissing couple. There was an eerie silence before a loud scream of 'CAKE FIGHT' echoed through the dusty church and everyone was unleashing their own concealed cake. The Bride giggled and licked a bit of icing off her cheek and the groom dragged a hand down his face, unperturbed. And that was how Peter met Artemis. A story of emotional torment through the most horrific of mediums; a wedding.</p><p>
  <em>P:Whoa, you're good at this.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>A:Course I am, what did you expect?</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>P:I don't know, man, but it wasn't that.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>A:Anyways, welcome!</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>P;This is the tale of Peter and Artemis, two idiots who would die for each other.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>A:Oh, and those superhero guys. The Avengers or something?</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>P:Oh yeah, those guys too. </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>A:Don't worry, we don't bite. Get comfy or something.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>P:Don't lie, you do bite. You're the biteiest bitey biter ever!</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>A:Hey, stop! You're scaring them away!</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>P:Okay, we're done. How do I turn this thing off!?</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
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